Teenagers have always been known to behave in unpredictable ways. Just the other day, my friend’s 17-year-old daughter left the house at 10 p.m. and came home an hour later with purple hair. As horrifying as this was for my friend, these occurrences are not unusual among teens. It’s common knowledge that teens can be poor decision makers and emotional wrecks, but most parents assume this behavior will run its course by the time their children are 20.
   
Research today, however, reveals that the teenage brain does not fully mature until the age of 25.
   
“It’s important for parents to recognize that their teenager’s brain is still a work in progress,” stresses Dr. Ken Winters, director of the Center for Adolescent Substance Abuse Research and professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota. “From early adolescence through their mid-20s, teens’ brains develop unevenly from back to front.”
   
The parts of the brain that develop first are those that control physical coordination, emotion and motivation, but the part that controls reasoning and impulses (known as the prefrontal cortex) is the last to develop and may not be completely functional until young adulthood. An undeveloped prefrontal cortex, along with out-of-control hormones, can shift a teen’s emotions into overdrive, resulting in unpredictable and sometimes risky actions.
   
“Parents need to help teens make decisions they may not be physiologically capable of making, particularly since these decisions could potentially affect their present and future health and well-being,” says Winters. One of the biggest concerns is that teens may display more impulsive behaviors, like experimenting with drugs and alcohol. “Experimentation with drugs and alcohol can have lasting, harmful effects on a teenager’s health,” he says.
   
Winters stresses that even though it’s natural for parents to distance themselves from their teens’ lives as their children become more independent, it’s critical that they stay involved. “Studies have shown that the most influential factor in determining whether teens make the right decisions is whether their parents are caring and involved throughout this period of their lives.”


Parents with cancer

Surviving the teen years is hard enough for kids with healthy parents. But for children of parents battling or dying from cancer, adolescence can be filled with fear and sadness. Teens facing this hardship can join Teens Konnection, a support program that helps teens connect with others in similar situations.
   
“When a teen goes through a cancer diagnosis or death of a parent, their life dramatically changes,” says Lynette Wilhardt, clinical director of Orange County-based Kids Konnected, the parent organization of Teens Konnection. “Teens usually think of themselves first, but here, they’re constantly thinking of life-and-death issues – unlike their friend whose big concern is getting a boy to like her.”
    
“It’s hard enough being a teen – trying to fit in, staying out of trouble, getting good grades. But if you add a parent getting cancer – or dying – that’s the final straw,” says Grady Smith, a youth leader for Teens Konnection who joined Kids Konnected at age 9, after his mom died from breast cancer.
   
Grady and other teens in the program teamed up to write “Love Sick,” which provides advice to adolescents experiencing similar hardships. “Love Sick” has spawned a teen-oriented Web site (cancerconnected.com) modeled after social networks such as MySpace. This site allows teens to submit questions to a supportive online community and access other helpful information.


Off to high school

Starting high school is an exciting time for teens. But parents must remember that it can also be extremely confusing and frightening.
   
“This is a most stressful time for parents and children,” says Bob Sklar, a Fullerton-based family therapist. “In addition to all the normal fears that freshmen experience about starting high school, kids at this age are expected to start taking charge of their own lives.”
  
Incoming freshmen will make smoother transitions if they take the following steps:
> Attend the high school’s summer orientation.
> Get involved in clubs, sports or other organizations.
> Become friends with students in a higher grade, since they can provide advice about teachers and school activities.
> Be accepting of others and understand that middle-school friends can change.
> End destructive friendships.
> Do their homework. n

Carol Daus is an award-winning contributor to Inland Empire Family magazine.