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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
Teen Years
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As a mother of two teens, I’m all too familiar with emotional outbursts, rolling eyes, and cutting remarks. I have always blamed this intense, unpredictable behavior on raging hormones. But the latest scientific research is now telling me that we should actually blame their brain or maybe more precisely their amygdala. Today’s buzz among child developmental specialists is that the delays in teenage brain development, not simply hormones, could be the reason for this erratic behavior. For the past decade, researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health and UCLA have performed MR imaging on thousands of children, revealing that the prefrontal cortex (the decision-making portion of the brain) does not fully develop until young adulthood. Recent research has also shown that teens still process more information with their amygdala (the emotion center of the brain) compared to adults who rely on their frontal cortex for this function. “Since the amygdala is responsible for emotions, it becomes clear why teens sometimes act the way they do,” says Dr. Beth Cauffman, a developmental psychologist at UC Irvine. “Teens generally know the difference between right and wrong, but in some instances because they process things differently, they may end up making a split-second decision that ends up being the wrong one.” To make matters worse, myelination (the process whereby myelin, the brain’s white fatty matter, envelopes nerve fibers making them more efficient) is not complete until young adulthood. As teens grow older and myelination is complete, their brain activity tends to shift to the frontal lobe, leading to more rational perceptions. These delays in brain development may explain why teenagers are more likely to misread facial expressions. Numerous studies have reinforced this by revealing that teens have a more difficult time recognizing fearful or anxious expressions. This certainly explains why teens often have problems with interpersonal relationships, especially with their parents. In many cases, if you don’t tell your child exactly what you’re feeling and wanting, they will not understand you. Cauffman stresses that these neurobiological factors along with psychological-social issues explain why many teens have difficulty saying “no” to certain things. “If a group of friends is passing around a joint and then someone asks your son if he wants to smoke, he probably knows he should say ‘no,’ but in the heat of the moment, given the emotional issues related to peer pressure, he may decide it’s easier for him to smoke the joint.” The delayed development of the brain is one of the reasons there has been such a heated debate concerning the death penalty and minors. In March, the U.S. Supreme Court abolished the death penalty for minors. Scientists are quick to point out that even though new research explains a lot about teenagers, it is still preliminary and is just one piece of information that explains teenage behavior. It also does not apply to all children since there are some whose cognitive abilities develop much younger than others. As a result, Cauffman notes that policy should not be based on individual cases. “That’s why prosecuting kids as adults backfired in a lot of ways because most kids grow out of delinquent behavior.” One of the most positive things that has come out of this research is that parents now have a solid explanation for why their teen acts the way they do. It’s not because they don’t like you or disapprove of you. In many ways, their behavior simply reflects the fact that they do not always understand us or process information as adults do. Carol Daus is a freelance writer who lives in Huntington Beach with her husband and three children. WHAT CAN PARENTS DO? Based on the latest scientific studies concerning brain development, Dr. Beth Cauffman, a developmental psychologist at UC Irvine, offers this advice for parents of teens: 1. Be a parent first. Many parents mistakenly believe that to have a relationship with their child, they need to be their friend. Most teenagers have lots of friends, but what they really need is a parent. The reason that teens often are argumentative or angry with parents is that they feel safe with them. 2. Eat dinner together on a regular basis. Sitting down together regularly for dinner offers teenagers stability and continuity at a time when they are uncertain about many aspects of their lives. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, a dinner is a powerful way to encourage communication in a non-threatening way. 3. Let your teenager sleep. Melatonin production changes dramatically during the teenage years, causing kids to want to stay up all night and sleep in to 11 a.m. the next day. Growing research shows that teens actually need more sleep than younger children, yet many high schools start as early as 7 a.m., making this an impossibility. So don’t think your teen is a slug; in many instances he may simply be sleep-deprived. |
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