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Single Parenthood

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Frog County

That prince-of-a-guy is out there, somewhere.

Lynn ArmitagePublished: February, 2007

Single Parenthood By Lynn Armitage

Frog County
That prince-of-a-guy is out there, somewhere


On any given Friday or Saturday night, Orange County is hopping with hopeful singles – young, old and middle-aged  – jumping from eateries to bars to nightclubs looking for romance and a chance encounter with “The One.” If you listen very closely, straining to hear past the pulsating music, clinking glasses and small talk, you’ll detect a familiar sound in the background that only grows louder as the night gets older and your judgment fuzzier . . .                 
Ribbit. Ribbit.
    
It’s been awhile since I’ve addressed single-parent dating, and for good reason – because I’ve been busy doing it. While I have met some wonderful men over the years, I’ve also bumped into my share of frogs in this town – men who have no interest in dating women with children. Frog County, I sometimes call it. And I’m not alone in my disillusionment, either. I’ve shared many meals with attractive and intelligent single mothers – great catches by anyone’s standards – with whom the conversation usually revolves around our favorite topic –  how hard it is to find a good, available man. To be fair, I know some men have an equally hard time meeting a good woman. I just don’t understand why we can’t seem to find each other.
    
My friends and I have tried Internet dating. Match-and-Miss.com and e-Smarmony. One friend hit the jackpot and got married to a great guy she met on one of these sites. They just had a baby. I even joined a dating service once, the “pay to play” concept. They fixed me up with a very successful, handsome man, my “perfect match,” so they claimed. During appetizers, he discovered I had children and blurted out, “I told them not to fix me up with anyone who had kids!” I then spent the rest of our lunch watching Prince Not-So-Charming catch flies with his sticky tongue.
    
So where do single parents find true love? The answer isn’t in this Valentine’s column, sorry. But I do have a suggestion: Write down precisely what you’re looking for in the man or woman of your dreams – “The Sequel,” that is. It may help you narrow down the field a bit. And you’ll probably discover, as I did, that the ideal qualities you’re seeking in a mate change from year to year, even decade to decade. Here’s the list I started once upon a time:


The 20s: Cinderella Years
•  Intelligent
•  Sense of humor
•  Clear direction in life
•  A sex god
•  Affectionate
•  Attentive
•  Creative
•  Well-mannered
•  Gregarious
•  Tall
•  Athletic
•  Handsome
•  A good family, preferably of royal lineage
•  Generous
•  Kind to animals
•  Friendly with strangers
•  Owns a horse-drawn carriage

The 30s: White-Picket-Fence Years
•  Educated
•  Ambitious
•  CEO potential
•  Sense of humor
•  Works hard
•  Trustworthy if working late
•  Stays out of my way
•  Family man
•  Enjoys sex, preferably with me
•  An occasional sportsman
•  A skilled handyman
•  Doesn’t abuse animals
•  Likes touring model homes on weekends

The 40s: Disillusioned Years
•  Shows up on time
•  Tolerates children who aren’t his
•  Doesn’t fall asleep during sex
•  Reliable set of tools
•  Frog warts OK

Lynn Armitage, a syndicated columnist and senior writer for Churm Media, still believes in fairy tales. She welcomes your comments at: larmitage@churmmedia.com.

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