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I told her he was at the dentist having oral surgery. She said, "Oh, so they're just gonna talk about it?" READ MORE
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Awilda Guadalupe first noticed changes in her mother when she used to visit her back home in Puerto Rico and talk with her on the phone. Her mom, who now lives with Awilda and her husband in Fountain Valley, would repeatedly ask, “How many children do you have?” Today, the 82-year-old’s memory of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren have been completely erased and she recognizes Awilda only on some days. As the disease progresses, she won’t remember her at all. Diagnosed four years ago, Awilda’s mother is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. “Her mind is being erased slowly and slowly. And every day it’s a little more,” says Awilda. “It’s a very sad disease. You have a body and no mind.” Thousands of other families find themselves in the same situation. Defined as a progressive brain disorder that gradually destroys a person’s memory and ability to carry out daily activities, an estimated 4.5 million Americans have Alzheimer’s disease. By 2050, the number could grow to as much as 16 million. In Orange County, approximately 60,000 residents have dementia or are at high risk of developing it in the near future. For family members, the losses and the associated emotions are continual and experienced throughout the different stages of the disease. They long and cry for the parent they once had. They fear for what’s yet to come. And they get angered and frustrated by the situation, over which they have little control. Just as difficult as the emotional aspect is the stress that comes with caring for a loved one with the disease. Awilda’s mother, for example, panics whenever Awilda leaves the room. How do families cope with these difficult moments? The Alzheimer’s Association offers these key tips to help families release their emotions and reduce the stress of caregiving: • Stay rested: The best gift that caregivers can offer is to take care of themselves. Care for yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. This will help you to better cope with daily demands. • Join a support group: Talk to other people and share your feelings rather than keeping them inside. Support groups also serve as a way to bond with others and build great friendships. The association offers several support groups for caregivers. • Educate yourself: It’s often the unknown and not being prepared that creates the anxiety. Reading about the disease or taking a course gives caregivers a better understanding of what’s happening to a loved one and prepares for potential situations to come. One to consider is the Alzheimer’s Association’s Family Orientation program. Participants not only learn about the disease, but about the resources available in the community. • Take advantage of help lines: This is a great resource for suggestions on how to handle challenging situations. You may not get exact answer sometimes, but just having someone there brings calm and validates feelings. (Alzheimer’s Association Helpline: 800.272.3900) • Be in the moment: Sometimes caregivers are so overwhelmed caring for a person that moments of enjoyment get lost. Embrace those times when you are reminded of the past. And take joy in the fact that you are bringing comfort and pleasure to your loved one even if they don’t remember you. The Alzheimer’s Association, Orange County Chapter is located in Irvine. For more information about the disease and resources available to families, call 949.955.9000 or visit www.alzoc.org. Sandy Bennett is associate editor. RESOURCES TIPS FOR COMMUNICATING Don’t reason. Don’t argue. Don’t confront. Don’t remind them that they forget. Don’t question recent memory. Don’t take it personally. Give short, one-sentence explanations. Allow plenty of time for comprehension. Repeat sentences exactly the same way. Avoid insistence. Try again later. Agree with them or distract them to a different subject or activity. Source: Alzheimer’s Association |
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