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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
Middle Years
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SEEKING HELP I’ve been writing this column for eight years, sharing with you my life as a wife and mother, while my husband and I raise our two sons. I’ve written about pediatricians and peer pressure; sibling rivalry and Santa Claus; biopsies and book tours. My children have grown up on this page in OC Family Magazine each month, while I have matured as a mom. Though this column is called “Mother Knows,” this time, I don’t. I’m hoping you can help. My question is this: How far should a mother go to help her child achieve his full potential, assuming the child wants to go as far as he can? Sounds like an easy question, doesn’t it? Do whatever you have to, to help him reach his dreams; that’s always been my philosophy. But I’m rethinking my strategy. How far is far enough, but not too far, when it comes to encouraging your child to develop his talents? I’ll never forget walking through the parking lot after a baseball game and hearing two men I’d never seen before discussing my son’s ability. It was a thrill and the first inkling that he had a real future as an athlete. Realizing that he had potential, we did what most parents would do to help him develop. I’m not talking about being a stage mother, or my husband, a Little League dad. Those stereotypical parents do more harm to their children long before they ever get close to their goal. We did the ordinary stuff: My husband played catch with our then-Little Leaguer; I made sure his baseball pants were clean for practice and games. But now, as he continues to advance, things are getting more serious and the pressure is mounting. Unlike the early days when winning was all about celebrating the game, win or lose, over pizza and root beer, now it’s about batting averages, double plays and scouts who come to the games. The stakes are higher, as are the expectations. I see other mothers paving the way for their children – sons and daughters in various other pursuits – continually urging their children on, coaching them, if you will, to success. So I ask: When should a mom just be a mom? You know, the cheerleader instead of the agent; the consoler instead of the coach; the refuge from the pressure of the pursuit? Where is the line? And should I step across it to urge him on to reach his full potential? Will I sell him short if I don’t? Let me know your thoughts at kporrazzo@churmmedia.com.. |
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