EVERYTHING
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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
Mom on the Edge
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After the dolls comes the college tuition Our household was ecstatic the other month when my two small daughters received in the mail, as gifts, their very own American Girl dolls. My husband was ecstatic as – given that American Girl dolls verge on $100 apiece – he felt these were valuable family heirlooms that could eventually be pawned for our girls’ college education. Far less mercenary, I was ecstatic as, for the two of you left in this country who still don’t know, American Girl dolls are not just ordinary dolls. Unlike Barbie Dolls, Cabbage Patch Kids or even, God forbid, the Bratz (the “z” in their name just spells trouble), American Girl dolls are educational and inspirational. They model behavior and lifestyles our own girls can aspire toward. Intelligent, curious, plucky, and multi-ethnic, each American Girl opens her own unique door into history. For instance, 2006’s American Girl Doll of the Year is Jess. She is half Irish-American and half Japanese-American; her family loves archaeology; and they all can’t wait to explore Belize. Similarly, our own daughters are half South Dakotan, half Chinese-German. With a little effort, by next year, our family too could be like Jess! In matching outfits! Loving archaeology! Exploring Belize! But things went wrong from the beginning. My 5-year-old immediately gave her American Girl doll what she imagined was the fancy otherworldly name of “Sheisana,” or sometimes “Sheislana.” In German, the root is not a word for anything nice. Impressed by the extraordinary quality of the dolls, I solemnly read my girls the elaborate CARE instructions which, sadly, we’ve not been able to find since. We’re simply not set up to process paperwork for toy care. We were bewildered that the instructions were so long, font so small. I have a vague recollection of the phrase “damp cloth.” Certainly never full-body immersion. Currently, Sheislana’s historically-accurate jacket is being worn by a Chuck E. Cheese monkey who, while not technically homeless, has spent a considerable number of evenings outdoors. But the nadir came at the hands of my 4-year-old, whose crime against American Girl dollhood is so unspeakable she may literally have to be deported. Which is to say, although Suzy denies it, ascribing the act to a fictional character, evidence strongly suggests my youngest has drawn an indelible blue Bic pen moustache on the upper lip of Sheislana. I doubt we’d be able to pawn the doll even for summer camp. My only hope is we can give the doll away. Sheislana deserves out – and I want to help. My dream is, somewhere in America, there’s a brave, jacketless, archaeology-loving girl with a blue Bic moustache who wants a doll who looks just. . . like. . . her. |
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