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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
Middle Years (7-12)
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Decide when home alone is too soon or just right It may be summer vacation for schoolchildren everywhere, but like many parents, you still have to hold down a weekly work routine. As you look at daycare and babysitting options, you may also be wondering, is my child ready to stay home alone this summer? Just because they’re begging to take care of themselves doesn’t mean that they’re ready. Unfortunately, there are few solid guidelines for parents to follow when they consider this issue. According to the California Department of Social Services, there aren’t any state laws specifying an age when children can be left alone, but parents may be found negligent if any accidents or injuries occur in their absence. How do you know if this is a viable option for your family? Here are a few questions to ask yourself (and your child) that might help you reach a decision. Start with the most obvious. Charlene Engle, childcare coordinator for the city of Irvine, asks, how would your child handle an emergency? Not only should he be able to stay calm and dial 911, but he should understand which types of emergencies warrant a call, and which might be better handled with a call to a neighbor. “Make sure there is a neighbor or relative who will be readily available to your child in the event of an emergency,” advises Engle. “And establish household rules beforehand about issues like cooking, opening the door, or answering the phone.” In fact, Engle suggests that parents sit down and run through a list of possible scenarios, emergency and non-emergency, to gauge how their child would handle them. “Ask her, ‘What would you do if you cut yourself when you are peeling an apple?’ ‘What would you say to the UPS man when he tries to deliver a package?’ or, ‘How would you respond to a caller asking to speak with your parents?’” she says. Also, scheduling a few trial runs, gradually increasing in time, is another way to see how your child handles anything that comes up. Is your child comfortable with the idea? “Every child is different,” says Engle. “Sometimes, even though a child may be mature enough, she really doesn’t want to be left home alone, so be prepared to look for alternatives.” How do they plan to spend their time alone? Initially, your child might be lured by the opportunity to sleep in, watch TV all day, or chat on the phone uninterrupted. But if you plan on leaving them home all day, you should have some sort of a schedule to follow. This includes more than just practicing to become a professional couch potato. Many cities, park and recreation departments, and local Boys and Girls Clubs offer summer programs, including day camps that run on weeklong intervals or drop-in programs that children can attend on a day-by-day basis. Some area health clubs even offer a “kids club” for members, where kids can drop in whenever they want during the day without a parent. These types of activities can break up your child’s “alone time” and provide parents with some piece of mind. Another benefit is the opportunity for your child to get some physical activity, which can be hard to do when you’re all alone. Even if the only person your child will ever be watching is himself, it’s still a good idea to send him to a babysitter training class. The American Red Cross offers classes for children ages 11 and up that not only include household safety tips, but also offer first aid and CPR training. “We go through a whole safety checklist. How to keep the area safe, keep kids safe, and what to do in an emergency,” explains Debbie Graves, director of safety and preparedness for Red Cross’ Orange County office. Both boys and girls attend the one-day class, says Graves, and participants leave with certification, a handbook, and their own first aid kit. Staying home alone for summer break can be an opportunity to help your child develop self-reliance and confidence, but it can also be an invitation for trouble. You are the only one who knows your child well enough to determine what he will make of it. Whatever you decide, just take a moment to relish these days when you still struggle with such decisions, because they won’t last for long. Michele Piazzoni of Folsom is a regular contributor to OC Family Magazine. For Letters: ocfamily.com and click on Feedback. |
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