EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
Middle Years (7-12)
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Show your child how to be the role model Every other week I drive my family crazy as I gather materials, plan, and often secretly prepare a craft project (just to make sure it really works) for the sake of another Girl Scout meeting. But finally, as I begin my fifth year as a leader, I’ve learned a secret that works every time. If you’re trying to teach girls something, like the value of community service, the details are a lot more compelling when they come from a group of other girls, rather than a fortysomething mom. It’s no mystery why this long-standing organization requires younger Girl Scouts to visit with older ones in order to “bridge” to the next level. Building a picnic table for a homeless shelter never sounded like that much fun until the how-tos came spilling forth from a group of sixth-graders. Whether it’s caring for those less fortunate, or helping classmates at school, every parent hopes to raise children who are not only aware of how they can help others, but actually do it. Yet how do you help kids make the transition from looking up to others to becoming a positive role model themselves? The first place to start is in your own living room, according to Barton Blinder, a professor in the Department of Psychology and Human Behavior at UC Irvine. He says parents have two key opportunities to promote the development of role modeling behavior in the home. First by demonstrating it themselves, and secondly by offering up the chance to practice on other siblings at home. It’s amazing how a fourth-grader who spends most of her time arguing with her younger brother can suddenly become cooperative, even nurturing, when it comes to a familiar homework assignment. Of course it’s not just about getting the answers right, the lesson lies in the discovery of how good it feels helping someone else. Middle school is a great time to start encouraging kids to take their role modeling skills outside the home, and the benefits of getting them involved in programs that promote peer leadership has been well documented – mainly reducing the likelihood of participation in many at-risk behaviors. In Orange County, the Department of Education sponsors a Peer Assisted Leadership (PAL) program, which directs the talents and energies of students toward helping a myriad of others. “It’s a peer-to-peer approach towards helping fellow students,” explains Linda Garza, principal of Serrano Intermediate School in Lake Forest, which has been honored the past two years for their implementation of the program. “The students are wonderful role models and they set the tone for our whole school.” At Serrano, students take PAL as an elective, but they invest much more than class time alone honing their leadership skills. The 25 to 30 kids who sign up annually spend recesses and lunch hours tutoring peers, helping new students acclimate to campus life and mediating minor schoolyard conflicts. Additionally, they develop self-initiated community service projects, like raising funds for breast cancer, the leukemia and lymphoma society and Hurricane Katrina victims. “At this age kids tend to be a bit self involved,” comments Garza. “They need support and guidance to learn that there’s a tremendous amount of fulfillment in helping other people.” The Torch Club sponsored by the Boys and Girls Clubs provides another opportunity for middle-schoolers to share talents and skills with others. Members ages 10-13 elect officers, conduct their own meetings, and host an event at the club at least four times per year. They can also be found helping others with homework, coaching a basketball game or putting together a community service project. “We want to give the kids the experience of seeing role models and wanting to emulate them,” explains James Littlejohn, executive director of the Boys and Girls Clubs of Capistrano Valley. “We’re trying to teach kids to be responsible leaders.” The message has taken root in 11-year-old Jackie Torres, an active member of the Torch Club. Not only does she enjoy the fun activities she’s been able to participate in, but she says she’s found a feeling of pride as well. “It makes me feel good to be a role model for other people,” she says. “I’m not just helping others, I’m helping myself too.” There are a multitude of programs targeting just about every interest and background, when it comes to peer leadership opportunities. Check with your local city, scouting organizations, or even your church. Role modeling skills are something that can serve every child throughout their academic and professional careers, and perhaps most importantly, when they become parents themselves some day.m Michele Piazzoni is a regular contributor. |
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