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Joe did seem a little irritable today!” “I noticed he has been very moody lately!” “He is not the boy he used to be.” “I wonder what could be wrong!” Parents often worry when their child is not behaving as he has in the past. Some unusual behaviors can be signs of either physical or mental illness. Well, there is good news for Joe and his family! Joe is perfectly healthy and will not need any further tests or hospitalizations. Joe has started PUBERTY! Puberty can be a frightening word to many parents. However, it is inevitable and unavoidable. Even though girls also pass from childhood into adulthood both physically and mentally, boys do it a little differently. I also think that it is easier for a man to talk about male puberty than a woman. In a future issue, I will have one of my female colleagues discuss the changes that occur in female puberty. They are equal but different! I have experienced male puberty myself AND as a father of a teenage boy. Get ready for a little bit of a roller coaster. It is thrilling and scary. Most boys start puberty around the age of 11 or 12. However, the normal range is from the age of 9 until age 14. You can witness this variation just by looking at an eighth-grade class at any school. Some of the boys have developed athletic physiques, towering over some of their friends who have not started. Signs of a changing boy The first sign of puberty in a boy is testicular enlargement. This may not be so obvious to most parents since you will not see the young adolescent running around the house naked as he did in the early years. And most are not willing to announce it over Sunday dinner. Often, parents will see changes in behavior as the first sign of puberty. These behaviors are not just a reaction to what is happening in their bodies but true physiological changes that are occurring in their brains. It is not that they don’t want to remember to do chores, it is that they DON’T remember. You will think they have forgotten everything you have ever taught them. However, do not be discouraged, the information is tucked away ready to be retrieved in a few years. Serial scans of the developing brain show changes in metabolic activity in some parts of the brain while other parts of the brain that control judgment and decision-making develop later in development. It often does appear that they have forgotten how to use their neurons. Once puberty begins, it is not easily stopped. It follows a somewhat predictable pattern and time frame. If you can identify the onset of puberty within a range, you can anticipate certain changes. Within about 18 months after the first signs of puberty manifest, boys go through a rapid growth spurt and may grow 6-8 inches over a few months. Needless to say, in order to support this increased growth rate, calories are increased. The rule of thumb is that if a teenage boy is awake, he is eating. You will find even greater value in your Costco or Sam’s Club card when you try to feed your teenager and his friends. Following the rapid growth is the change in musculature. This usually occurs in the first year or second of high school. Look at the difference in the incoming freshman football team and the varsity Since growth is rapid and the appetites are great, teenage boys run the risk of eating a lot of fast food. We are now seeing the trend toward healthier “fresh” fast food and I hope this trend will continue. Later changes in puberty are the growth of facial and body hair and deepening of the voice. The two-step Teenage boys become very physical, tripping over their own feet. Most of the physical contact is in fun, but there is a pecking order that develops. Watch a group of teenage boys figuring out who is the strongest, who can swim the fastest, jump the highest or hit the baseball the farthest. It is all part of the male persona inherited from our ancestors to establish ourselves as king of the jungle. It is easy to avoid discussing with your son one of the major changes during puberty sexuality. There are different comfort levels that people have with this topic and therefore, it can be uncomfortable. It is not that its importance is diminished, just that it is hard to “break the ice” and get the conversation going. It differs from family to family who is responsible for having “THE TALK!” More fathers are taking it on with, and due to spousal encouragement. Here are a few hints that might help begin the conversation. Since sexuality involves religious, social and moral aspects, be sure you know how you stand on these things. A little self-examination goes a long way. In addition, acknowledge that you have been there but don’t be too graphic. It will only embarrass the young teenager. Although you cannot depend on a book to educate, it may help to have something in the house that is consistent with your ideas so your teenager can use it as a reference. Go to a bookstore and spend some time looking at the books and pick one or two that mirror your values. Men communicate better around activities. Therefore, in order to have the discussion, spend the time with your son doing something that you both like, shooting baskets, playing golf or fishing can provide the right time and place for discussion. Riding in the car going from place to place offers great opportunity for conversation. In order to get things going, make observations about your son rather than asking direct questions. It is less threatening and gives your son the opportunity to respond. For example, make a comment about growth or how much he is eating. You can add a statement such as, “That kind of growth happens during puberty.” Or, “I’ve noticed that you have really gotten tall so fast, do you know why?” You don’t know it all, so don’t fake it. If you don’t know, say so and find out. It opens the door for another conversation. Adolescence and puberty are not the piece of cake that the toddler can be. However, just as the toddler phase passes quickly, so does puberty. Before you know it, your teenager is a young adult, moving out the house and on his own. Enjoy it and have fun. Life will never be the same. Dr. Clyde Wesp is a pediatrician with Southern Orange County Pediatric Associates with offices in Lake Forest, Laguna Hills, Rancho Santa Margarita, Ladera Ranch and San Clemente (Talega) and is affiliated with Saddleback Memorial Medical Center, Mission Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Orange County. |
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