Kid Quips

July’s winner:
I told my son that when he turned 3 years old, he would start getting potty-trained. He turned to me and said, “But I don’t want to ride the potty train!” Robbie, 3, of Riverside


We went out to dinner with a friend of ours one night. He had brought his lady friend with him. My son was talking to her about her tattoos. He looked at all of them, and then said to her and pointed, “If you get another one here, and one here, and one here, you could be an art museum!” Austin, 5, of Moreno Valley

As I walked through a toy store with my four sons, my youngest son, Andrew, noticed a large box containing a wooden train set that he had received for Christmas. The picture on the front of the box showed two little boys playing with the train set. Andrew stopped in front of the box and told us, “Look, that’s my train set!” After we agreed that it was the same set he had at home, he said to me, “Mommy, they’re playing with my train set. Can you spank them please?” Andrew, 3, of Corona

Amanda wanted to play with our neighbor Tori. I told her she could not play, as she was grounded. The next day, she asked if Tori was “still grouchy,” or did she want to play? Amanda, 4, of Riverside

My son was covered in mud after playing at the park. He was uncomfortable in the car on the way home and said, “Mom, why did I want to play in the mud?” I told him, “I don’t know, I’m not in YOUR head.” He then replied, “Yes you are! I think about you all the time!” Zach, 5, of Riverside

My nephew, who is half-Indonesian, is visiting his grandma in Ontario. We asked him if he was Indonesian. He replied, “No, I am at Grandma’s house.” Gregory, 5, of El Centro

Recently, I had to have a hysterectomy. So, my daughter-in-law tried to explain to her daughters that Grammy was going to be in the hospital to have her female parts removed. After a few minutes, her youngest asked if that was going to make Grammy a boy. Elizabeth, 4, of San Bernardino

My child loves to watch “Maggie and the Ferocious Beast,” but the name seems a little too long for him to say it right. One day, he woke up in the morning and said, “Mommy, I wanna watch ‘Maggie and the Roasted Beast.’” Johan, 3, of Temecula

When my now-grown son was 5 1/2 years old, we were playing with his toys, and he told me with much enthusiasm: “Dad! You’re running out of hair.” It brings a smile to my face to this day. Duane, 5, of Highland

One evening while driving home, my daughter Victoriya asked me, “Mommy, do moons eat?” I told her, “No.” She replied, “Then why do they call them full moons?” Victoriya, 5, of Upland

Hannah came running inside all excited, because she just found out why the boy down the street talked so funny. She said, “Mom, I know why Jessie talks so funny. He just had his testicles removed.” (He just had his tonsils removed.) Hannah, 4, of Hemet