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Hand Kids the Keys to Success

Hand kids the keys to success. But mostly, spend time with them.

By Kerri S. MabeePublished: October, 2007

Hand kids the keys to success. But mostly, spend time with them.

Every parent knows that, from the moment of conception, we want the best for our kids. We want them to be happy and healthy. With each wobble and tentative step, we want them to grow, learn and achieve.

But children are not hard-wired for success right off the bat. Many face challenges, as we all do, that can hold them back. Lacking the tools for advancement can quickly derail a child on the path to a happy life of purpose and achievement.

According to a Gallup survey, just 31% of America’s children have all or most of the basic supports they need for healthy development. So, what can parents do to ensure that their children are properly equipped to be healthy and responsible citizens?

Laura A. Long, director of Child & Youth Development for the Orange County United Way, says, “One of the most important things we can do is spend time with our children every day.” And for those times when we cannot be with them, we need to ensure that the programs we choose for our kids and the adults staffing them are high-quality.”

This advice falls in line with a recent review from the Search Institute, a research group that explores ideas that benefit children. Their 40 Developmental Assets for Early Childhood gives a detailed look at how parents can set the stage for success. The resources are broken down into the following 8 categories:

Support
Children need the support of not just family, but of friends, teachers, neighbors and extended family members, too. Consistent and loving care, a safe and nurturing environment, and a healthy dose of acceptance and encouragement are important ways we can support a child.

Take action: Be courteous to your kids and encourage their interests.

Empowerment
Kids need to feel valued and welcomed in their communities. Give them opportunities to “perform simple, but meaningful and caring, actions for others.” Volunteer together.

Take acton: Teach kids how to be safe wherever they go.

Boundaries and expectations
They may resist them, but kids need rules. Careful supervision, reasonable boundaries and guidelines for behavior are all necessary components for a safe upbringing. Discipline should be consistent and fair. And every effort should be made to surround a child with positive role models and to encourage healthy peer relationships.

Take action: Talk openly and decide together how to best establish and enforce family rules.

Constructive use of time
Kids should have daily opportunities to play and engage in ways that “allow self-expression, physical activity and interaction with others.” TV and video games should be closely monitored. Community programs, such as sports or dance, should be managed by competent adults, and opportunities for spiritual growth should be age-appropriate and nurturing.

Take action: Encourage your kids to become involved in at least one hobby.

Commitment to learning
Kids need to feel good about learning. Youngsters, especially, need an early introduction to books, letters and numbers. Their natural curiosity should be applauded and their imaginations stoked. Likewise, children should have access to activities that promote and value the learning process.

Take action: Invite a teacher to your home for dinner.

Positive values
Life gives us many opportunities – good and bad – to instill a value system. Concepts of empathy, integrity, honesty, responsibility and self-regulation can pose a challenge to children. It takes time to fully understand and put our values into practice. Praise their good choices.

Take action: Model generosity by offering help to friends and neighbors.

Social competencies
Kids need help in acquiring interpersonal skills that will allow them to live, play and share harmoniously with others. They must acquire an awareness and sensitivity to the needs of others, be able to sense danger accurately, and know how to “compromise and resolve conflicts without using physical aggression or hurtful language.”

Take action: Smile and say hello to at least one new person each day.

Positive identity
As all these elements fall into place, children begin to realize that their behaviors can wield great influence over things that happen in their lives. This “personal power” helps bring about a sense of purpose and self-esteem that will see them enjoying life, and looking forward to both its new opportunities and its challenges.

Take action: Dwell on what your kids do right; not the mistakes they make.

> Learn more about the Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets for Early Childhood and other relevant studies at searchinstitute.org.

> To support our youth and strengthen our community, check out the Orange County United Way’s website at unitedwayoc.org.

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