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What kids want Coaches ought to clip and save Ripken’s rules Youth coaches are famous (or, infamous) for not taking advice. They don’t want to hear from their assistants; they certainly don’t want to hear from the parents; and they have a habit of hushing the young athletes. Hopefully, they can find a willingness to listen to Cal Ripken Jr. The Hall of Fame baseball player is most famous for the record number of games played. But he also was well-known, in a sport where pettiness and greed rise to the top, as a gentleman. He seems to know what he is talking about, and that clearly shows through in his book, “Parenting Young Athletes The Ripken Way” (with Rick Wolff, Gotham Books, April 2006). What stands out is a survey he pulled from a Sports Illustrated for Kids magazine poll of 1,000 responses from athletes – kindergartners to high school seniors. A fitting survey for any sport, here are the results of answers to the question, “What kids really want from their coach.” OC Family Magazine has added a rating system to each of these questions, with an overall score provided at the end. Coaches are urged to grade themselves in each category on a scale from 5 (a perfect coach) to 0 (you really need to find something else to do). • 95% said that the No. 1 quality in a coach is the ability to help the players improve their athletic skills. Score: ___ • 64% said they would rather play on a losing team for a coach whom they liked than to play for a winning team with a coach whom they didn’t like. Score: ___ • 62% said they wanted equal playing time for all the kids on the team. As one 12-year-old wisely observed: “Everybody should play the same amount so that everybody has the same amount of fun.” Score: ___ • 61% commented that it was OK for the coach to yell during the game – but only if the yelling was of a positive nature. Yelling out instructions to a player is fine, but yelling at a player because she made a mistake humiliates the kid and only makes her feel bad. Score: ___ • 93% said they wanted and needed the coach’s full support, regardless of the kid’s athletic ability. Wrote one 11-year-old: “If the coach isn’t confident in you, how can you be confident in yourself?” Score: ___ Now tally up your score. A score of 21-25. You will have parents knocking at your door with chocolate cookies, wanting you to coach their child. Assistant coaches hoping to hook up with you will send a limousine. At this level, it is close to sainthood. A score of 18-20. A bit scratchy, but not bad. There is probably one area in which you need to really focus. Our guess is in the yelling arena. Most coaches who yell have a hard time keeping it all positive, all the time. Easily corrected by shutting up. A score of 15-17. You are close to not making the cut. You know that kid you want to put in right field, bat last, sit for two innings each game and try to forget about? The team is on the verge of thinking the same about you. A score of under 15. Have you thought about taking up golf, or tennis, or some other individual sport where the only one you can blame is yourself? Do everyone a favor and volunteer for the snack bar. That way you can get the feel of what it is like for a kid to say, “Gimme a candy bar,” although most will show the politeness and consideration you lack by saying, “May I please have a candy bar?” |
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