First Years

There are plenty of people out there who will tell you that pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Bless their hearts; they are clearly ignorant of what happens to a woman once sperm meets egg. Don’t get me wrong – the process of creating a new, little human is nothing short of miraculous, but as with any other feat of God and man, it ain’t all rainbows and rosebuds. I have met expectant moms who say they’ve never felt better, and if you’re one of these fortunate few, you go, girl! And may the rest of you enjoy my 3rd-trimester bellyaching:


Let’s start with how friends, coworkers and even total strangers treat you once you start to sport the baby bump. Suddenly, people feel comfortable prying into the intimate details of your life. What’s the sex of the baby? Have you thought of any names? What’s the due date?

Suddenly, people feel compelled to rub your tummy as though you were a human Buddha. Then, there’s the heightened concern over how you’re feeling, what you’re eating and whether or not you’re getting enough rest. I love how these concerned onlookers are the same ones to chortle at the water cooler, “Wow, did you see her belly? She ought to have her own zip code!”

As if it’s not obvious enough that you’re “with child,” folks feel it necessary to come up with humiliating pet names that underscore your blessed condition. No longer are we respectable Sarahs and Janes, it’s “Big Mamma” and “Waddle.” Not wanting to succumb to pregnant woman stereotypes, we bear the insulting nomenclature with grace and save the retaliation for our voodoo dolls!

A real invasion of privacy
Pregnancy is a huge assault on anyone of private sensibilities. Your body suddenly liberates itself and declares to the world, “I have had sex – fruitful, baby-making sex!” Your 9-month metamorphosis is on public view, from bulging belly to swollen ankles. Then, after months of being sampled and scanned, examined and probed, you’re propped up, spread-eagle on a hospital bed, surrounded by perfect strangers with a mirror (and, God forbid, a camcorder) directed at your private parts. Trust me, you pregnancy-is-a beautiful-thing people, there’s nothing pretty about this part.

But your body’s conspiracy really begins months before the drama of D-day. Morning sickness hits a few weeks into the ordeal, before there’s any hope of garnering pregnancy sympathy from a swollen belly. You’re all geared up to celebrate, when you feel a sudden urge to upchuck – how lovely. If you’re lucky, the morning sickness subsides just in time for other scourges of pregnancy to begin: backaches, water retention, heartburn. Forget taking anything to ease the discomfort (you’re pregnant, remember?).

Then come the brutal final weeks, when the full magnitude of your condition weighs, quite literally, on your mind, body and soul. You’ll kick your husband to the curb to get a good night’s sleep and curse your OB/GYN’s nurse for suggesting, “You’ve got a ways to go yet.”

In spite of all that expectant mommies endure as we almost single-handedly perpetuate the species, our culture is determined to label us as moody, cranky or overly sensitive. Now, that’s a low blow! Truth is, we pregnant women are real-life superheroines gifted with special powers of patience, endurance and discernment.

All of my kvetching aside, my 2 pregnancies have been tremendous growth periods in my life (and I’m not talking about dress sizes, here). Something about the experience, pains and annoyances included, make us all stronger, more beautiful women. So, I guess it’s true. Pregnancy IS a beautiful thing.


S. Danyelle Knight is a regular contributor to Inland Empire Family Magazine.

--- SIDE BAR ---
Top 10 remedies for pregnancy angst:

[1] Pre-natal massages

[2] Chocolate

[3] Bubble baths

[4] Monthly manicure/pedicure

[5] Banana splits

[6] Afternoon naps

[7] Chic flicks

[8] Cute maternity clothes

[9] Date nights

[10] Buying baby a “My Mamma Rocks” onesie