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Pump him up!

How to get dad-to-be excited about the baby also Gifts new moms want! and Work or Stay at Home?

by S. Danyelle KnightPublished: May, 2008

When it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, men are simply not in “the know.” They aren’t feeling the kicks and nudges, early morning nausea and late-night urges to visit the little girl’s room. They didn’t grow up babysitting the kid down the street or listening to their aunts kvetch about teething and potty-training.

All of this baby business can be intimidating, so most do the manly thing and clam up. If you really want your partner’s support, appeal to his need to provide and protect. He’ll get an ego boost and you’ll succeed in involving him in one of the most transformative experiences of your lives.

There are dozens of ways your partner can show his love during and after your pregnancy, but let him choose how he wants to participate. Nothing discourages the alpha male more from getting in touch with his feminine side than a pushy pregnant partner. My husband shunned the 100+ page parenting and child-birthing tomes I suggestively placed by his bedside table, but was surprisingly receptive to parenting magazines casually camped out in “the library.” He felt empowered wielding power tools while assembling the crib and enjoyed shopping for practical baby items, such as the car seat and stroller. And something about the title “Labor Coach” really got his adrenaline going.

When all else fails, appeal to your partner’s competitive nature. Men who feel uncomfortable with all this baby business get in the spirit when they see other guys stepping up. Your man may benefit from knowing the whole baby experience is going co-ed, from educational classes to doctor’s visits to baby showers. When he takes a step in the right direction, be sure to take notice.

Vice versa, if his diapering skills leave a little something to be desired, try not to overreact. The learning curve promises that his daddy skills will improve. fam

S. Danyelle Knight is an award-winning contributor to Inland Empire Family Magazine.

Gifts new moms want!

Pregnancy has few perks for expectant moms whose bodies and minds are besieged for 9 months – that is, until it’s time to party!

When shower invitations go out, parents-to-be start getting giddy about their new arrival. Friends and family are usually thrilled, too, but their gifts can leave something to be desired.

Here are shower gifts that are useful and fun to give:

> Hospital care package
You can boost the spirits of the special new mom in your life at a time when aches, pains and baby blues are conspiring against her. Consider stuffing an overnight bag with a fluffy robe, button-front pajama set, socks, luxurious toiletries and a box of her favorite candy.

> Baby care & first-aid kit
What new parents really need are practical items, such as a customized first-aid kit, with over-the-counter baby meds, dispenser, thermometer, etc.

> Nursing apparel and lounge wear
Help support a mom’s decision to nurse with gifts of nursing tanks and shirts, comfortable lounge wear and helpful breast-care items, such as lanolin cream and breast pads. fam

Work or Stay at Home?

Mommy guilt is one of the areas of motherhood that seems as impossible to avoid as dirty diapers and 2 a.m. feedings. And the issue that often weighs heaviest on the hearts of moms is whether or not we should stay home with our children or return to work.

You can get some perspective on the matter with Wendy Sachs’ “How She Really Does It: Secrets of Successful Stay-At-Work Moms.”

Easy to read even for the most sleep-deprived among us, Sachs’ book recounts the inspiring stories of moms, such as maternity fashion guru Liz Lange and acclaimed “Sex and the City” actress Cynthia Nixon, who have found that wonderful, harmonious balance between their careers and their children. fam

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