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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
First Years (0-2)
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Turn the nine months into a dad thing, too By S. Danyelle Knight Having grown up in the information age, it is hard for me to imagine a time when pregnancy and childbirth were shrouded in mystery – especially for the men of the family who were banished from the birthing room and sent to boil water or some silly thing. Today’s dads are often enthusiastic participants in the process, from the first doctor’s appointment to the moment they’re asked to cut the cord. This cultural shift to include men in a formerly female rite of passage is good for mom, dad and baby. But what to do if your macho man is less than eager to get involved? On this topic, I have a little experience. After our baby’s conception, my husband congratulated himself on a job well done and remained hands-off for the next nine months of my pregnancy. As I feverously devoured book after book on pregnancy, childbirth and nursing, he fantasized about the day he’d pass out cigars to his buddies. Having a baby was a dream come true for both of us, but for me it was a reality my mind and body would not let me ignore. While there are certainly those unique guys who look forward to screening the latest childbirthing flick, there are plenty of throwbacks to the good old days who would be perfectly content to believe babies come from storks. You may have to drag him kicking and screaming into Babies “R” Us, but there are ways to encourage your partner to participate in one of the most amazing experiences of your lives. Here’s how: 4 Work within his comfort zone When it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, men are simply not “in the know.” They aren’t feeling the kicks and nudges, early morning nausea and late night urges to visit the little girl’s room. They didn’t grow up babysitting the kid down the street or listening to ladies talk about teething and potty training. All of this baby business can be intimidating, so they do the manly thing and clam up. If you really want your partner’s help, don’t ask him to go bra shopping with you; instead, suggest he put together the baby’s crib or paint the nursery. Kendra Cosgrove of Tustin took care of the “girlie” stuff surrounding her daughter’s birth, but she appealed to her husband’s meticulous nature by suggesting that he research a car seat. Getting started By Michele Piazzoni While the number of shots your baby gets at an early age may be going up, the number of booster shots she will some day need may be decreasing. ProQuad, a new 4-in-1 vaccine that combines a booster shot of the measles, mumps, rubella and varicella vaccines, has been proven safe and effective for healthy children who have already had their primary vaccinations. Your parenting style may affect your child’s sleeping patterns. A preliminary study conducted by researchers from Brown University, George Washington University, and Rhode Island Hospital found a strong correlation between permissive parenting and sleep disturbances. Parents who gave in easily, did not enforce rules, or responded to bad behavior with positive consequences were considered permissive. Sun and babies do not make a good match. A baby’s skin is much thinner and more sensitive than an adult’s, so before smothering them in sunscreen, simply consider avoiding the sun altogether. (Sunscreen is not suggested for babies under age 1.) If you must go out, lightweight clothes that cover the entire body, along with a wide brimmed hat, should be the first choice. Should a baby get sunburned, contact your pediatrician immediately. Looking for a hot new baby stroller? One popular brand (hint: the company is owned by a rock star) is preparing to unveil a new model with speakers that hook up to an iPod. 4 Give him options There are hundreds of ways your partner can show his love and support, so let him choose how he wants to participate. My husband shunned the books I suggestively placed on his bedside table, but enjoyed reading articles from my parenting magazines. If your partner agrees to share in the task of registering for baby items, let him wield the price gun and select some of the items he likes. “You don’t have to be equal in all of the preparations,” says Kendra, “you just want to feel that he is participating.”4 Apply peer pressure When all else fails, appeal to your partner’s competitive nature. Men who feel uncomfortable with all this baby business quickly get in the spirit when they see other guys stepping up. “I don’t think my husband realized at the beginning that the majority of men are really involved. This is the new norm,” says Kendra. She noticed how her husband responded when he realized he wasn’t the only dad at the breastfeeding class. Your man may benefit from knowing the whole baby experience is going coed, from educational classes to doctor’s visits to baby showers. Having a baby is one of the greatest adventures you will ever share with your partner. He may hesitate at first, but I’m certain he doesn’t want to miss a thing. S. Danyelle Knight is a regular contributor to OC Family Magazine. |
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