EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
KID
QUIPS
Ornella opened the envelope and exclaimed, “Mommy, look! Princesses! This is cuteiful!” READ MORE
First Years (0-2)
|
||||
|
The mother-child connection isn’t always instant Welcoming a child into your life means opening yourself up to the unknown. It’s possible to know the sex of your child before he exits the womb (and with a fancy 3-D ultrasound, you may even be able to tell if he’s got Uncle Moose’s ears) – but the nuances of your newborn’s developing persona will only begin to unfold after birth. Likewise, your own relationship with your new arrival is something that takes shape over time. We love our children instinctively, even when we don’t always like them, but the bond between parent and newborn, newborn and parent, isn’t automatic. Like all things worth having, it requires patience and hard work – and a willingness to free yourself from the storybook notions of what those first few weeks home from the hospital are “supposed” to be. Allow yourself and your child ample time to adjust from the traumas of delivery and the awkwardness of navigating a whole new world. Try not to get your feelings hurt if the object of your affection seems more engrossed with his aunt, his grandmother or his blankie than he is with you. Though our culture suggests the bond between mother and child should be instantaneous, that’s not always the case. Many women suffer from baby blues or more serious post-partum depression that prevents them from immediately embracing the joy of motherhood. And that’s not taking into consideration the mental and physical fatigue that sets in after weeks of caring for your infant around the clock. It’s a personal sacrifice moms and dads would never undertake if they weren’t utterly in love with their children; yet, it’s easy to let your busyness prevent you from being present. Welcome the help of those around you for household chores – folding laundry, washing dishes, tidying up – and make time for yourself. If you’re like me and subscribe to the philosophy that you can do it all, you’ll need to make a conscious choice to do whatever it takes to feel sane and rested long enough to revel in your new role. Don’t be a martyr, accept your own limitations and be selfish about wanting to be in a place that allows you to adequately appreciate yourself and your child. Try a little meditation and let your to-do list float away as you focus on getting to know your miracle of a child. Really feel the softness of her baby skin, drink in the sweetness of her baby smell and let yourself get lost in the simple act of staring at her. Now it’s time to share something of yourself with your newborn. Read aloud to her from your new novel, turn up the radio and cut a rug on the living room floor, or sing a favorite childhood song as you rock her to sleep. Moms aren’t the only ones who benefit from baby-bonding. Get dad in on the action by encouraging your spouse to play a little one-on-one with junior: snuggling on the sofa during the big game, hitting the park for a few laps in the jogging stroller or practicing any of the great baby grooming skills he learned at your childbirthing class. Don’t forget that newborns, like all children, crave your time and attention more than anything. They want to get to know you – warts and all – and share in the things you enjoy. The bonding experience is a process that happens in fits and starts. One day he may coo and smile at your silly antics, the next you’ll get only angry screams and grimaces. Try not to take it personally. Over time, your connection will grow stronger and stronger until you’re so tuned in with your baby that you can’t imagine the day he wasn’t a part of your life. S. Danyelle Knight is a regular contributor. For Letters, go to ocfamily.com and click on Feedback. |
||||
RSS Subscribe
Digg This ArticleSEARCH THE SITE
