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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
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Tracy Cota doesn't remember the exact reason for the infant's hospital stay. The Mission Viejo resident, a nurse at Torrance Memorial Hospital at the time, says it was for a typical pediatric ailment that had become serious enough to warrant hospitalization. What she does remember - and continues to pain her more than 10 years later - is that the baby was all alone. The child, just around 1 month old, had been taken from her parents by the county to keep her safe, but had yet to be found a home and family. "Typically, parents stay with the infant. They spend the night so they can take care of them. When they cry, they're there for them. When they get their shots or IV, they are there to comfort them. But there was no one," she says. "It just broke your heart that there was nobody in this child's life who cared about her," adds Tracy, who, along with the other nurses in the unit, treated the baby as her own during the infant's one-week hospital stay. Homes wanted Hundreds of children in Orange County have met a similar fate. Like the 1-month-old baby, they too are in need of a loving heart and home. According to statistics from the Orange County Social Services Agency, there are 3,200 local children in foster care. Most are eventually able to return to their birth family and only need temporary foster homes. Some, though, need permanent homes through adoption. A number spend some time at Orangewood Children's Home, an emergency shelter home for abused, abandoned and neglected children operated and owned by the County of Orange Social Services Agency with Juvenile Court authority, before being matched with an appropriate family. According to data supplied by Orangewood, nearly 1,600 children were admitted to the facility during its fiscal year ending June 2006. And while much care has been taken to prevent these youth from further trauma during their stay at Orangewood, from the beautiful landscaped grounds and inviting swimming pool to the staff who can be seen sitting on the floor and interacting with the children, it's no substitution for an actual home. "We need foster families," says Raquel Amezcua, program manager for placement coordination services at the Orange County Social Services Agency. "And our children need them." According to Craig Zacuto, executive director and founder of Beta Foster Care - a private, nonprofit foster family agency in Laguna Niguel, families are leaving foster care at a much quicker rate than they are being recruited. Zacuto, for example, had three times the number of available placement families five years ago than he does today. Many of those foster families have moved out of the area or retired. As a result of this lopsided equation, he says, "more of our children are being placed out of the county in San Bernardino and elsewhere because we don't have the homes in Orange County." Support system Foster parents typically care for one or more children for 6 to 18 months, with the goal of the child being reunited with its birth family. They can be licensed by the county or work with a private agency, which typically offers a greater level of service. "They can be married; they can be single. Basically as long as they have stability in their life... we're really not much more specific than that," says Jim Deming, senior social services supervisor for the county's Foster and Adoptive Family Development Team. "It's a little bit wider scope than you might think because there are so many resources and support built in to help them." These resources range from the required training and optional support groups to monthly financial reimbursements to pay for the child's food, clothing and other expenses. According to Deming, the higher the needs of a child, the more resources that are built in for a family. Opening your home Tracy and her husband, Dennis, a fireman and paramedic with Los Angeles County Fire Department, recently took in their first foster care child. The couple, married for 15 years, have three children of their own - Alicia, 11, Madison, 8, and Kyle, 6. "It has been a blessing to all of us," says Tracy of the experience. "There are barriers, like attending the classes and getting your home certified. But all of that is really minor when you think about the good that you are doing." Like many families new to foster care, the Cota family eased their way in. Three years ago, Tracy attended an orientation at her church, presented by Beta Foster Care. She was the only person who showed up. Dennis later attended the orientation and then the two sat on the idea for a couple of years. Later, after training and getting certified - and their children all on board - the family tried respite care. They did this twice, caring for some children for five days and four nights on two occasions. Then, Tracy eventually made the call to the Beta Foster Care, saying her family was ready to take one in as their own. She requested a baby so there wouldn't be a conflict with her own children's age and activities. They didn't have to wait long; the Cota's were matched with a 4-week-old baby girl a week later. The petite-framed infant, whose brown eyes and beautiful smile instantly tug at one's heart, stayed with the Cotas for 3 1/2 months before being reunited with one of her birth parents. Healthy and developmentally on track, the baby has been the focal point of the neighborhood - often seen at the Cota kids' schools and at their sporting events. The adoration is apparent in each of the children, who have taken on various roles, from caregiver to entertainer, as well as in the baby who lights up when one of the kids comes in sight. "It's brought a better understanding not to just us and our kids, but to everyone," says Tracy. "I think for so many kids, it's so distant. They know that there are orphans, they know that we make care packages and give them to needy kids, but they don't see those children. It's not real to them. By having her in the community, people see that it's real." How to help May is National Foster Care Month. There are numerous ways you can help, with varying time commitments. (Note: Most of these opportunities required training and licensing.) • Volunteer a couple hours a month at a facility that works with foster care children, such as Orangewood Children's Home or Canyon Acres Children and Family Services. • Provide respite care for a foster family. • Become an emergency shelter home, providing licensed foster care for up to 30 days. • Become a foster parent. • Serve as an advocate and mentor for a child in foster care through CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates). Where to call Orange County Social Services Agency: 888.871.kids or oc4kids@ssa.ocgov.com. The agency offers several orientations on most Thursdays each month, beginning at 6:30 p.m. Choose from several locations. Beta Foster Care: 949.363.2000 or betafostercare.org. The agency will hold a Foster Care Recruitment Open House from 2-4 p.m. May 19 at Chaparosa Grill, on Golden Lantern, in Laguna Niguel. Canyon Acres Children and Family Services: 714.998.3272 or canyonacres.org CASA: 714.619.5155 or casaoc.org For other agencies that work with foster care children, call 2-1-1. Gift of love Living the life he deserves By Ashley Eliot One wouldn't expect Taylor Rhodes, who has a soft heart for animals and ambitions to be a veterinarian, to have been the victim of child neglect. The 15-year-old, whose name and his adoptive mother's have been changed, was separated from his two siblings and forced to enter foster care at 6 years old when his parents were sent to jail for drug use. While spending four years at Canyon Acres Children and Family Services, a group home in Anaheim, he met someone he could finally trust - Carmen Rhodes. She was working at Canyon Acres as Taylor's behavioral coach and despite his hard upbringing and the effect that had on him, including a tough interior and attitude, she saw hope. "Usually someone who goes through so much trauma would not be able to make it," she says. "He has heart and potential." Carmen's conflict with her job at Canyon Acres and Taylor would be reconciled almost three years after the two had met. In 2002, she left her position to get a foster care license and a year later, she adopted him. At the time, she was in her mid-20s, single and was in college preparing to receive her bachelor's degree in cultural anthropology. She couldn't let him grow up in the system, she says. While Taylor barely built a relationship with his mother, who passed away two years ago from drug use, his relationship with his father has improved. His father knew Taylor would receive the best care from Carmen, giving his son a real life. After almost four years with Carmen, 30, Taylor has a plan, ambitions and a mother. The teen, who once had a severe temper and anger issues, has grown tremendously and continues to evolve into a young man. A sophomore at a Tustin high school, Taylor has goals and a passion in caring for animals. He and Carmen have pets of their own - three dogs and a cat. He volunteers once a week at an animal clinic in Garden Grove and works at his school's recycling center. "Since I was young, I have had a good relationship with animals," says Taylor, who has aspirations of going to a veterinary college in Colorado. In addition to his love for animals and being involved in the community, Taylor is showing an interest in skateboarding and surfing. "Everything he wanted, he has," says Carmen. "I wanted to give him the life he deserves." |
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