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“One night, my 3-year-old asked me if she could sleep in my bed. I told her no. She said, “That’s not fair! Why does Daddy get to sleep in your bed?” READ MORE
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amily dinners Make it a full-course time together - it's worth it! Mealtime may be more important than you think. According to a University of Michigan study, family dinners at home is the single strongest predictor for better achievement scores and fewer behavioral problems. Research shows that kids who have dinner with their families are less likely to use drugs and alcohol, get better grades and have lower rates of early sexual behavior and suicide. Yet, the dinner hour is disappearing, with the number of families who have dinner regularly decreasing 33% over the past 30 years. Julienne Smith of Yorba Linda hopes to rejuvenate the family dinner hour and bring families together, one conversation at a time. The mother of three recently launched "Food for Talk - Bringing Families Together One Conversation at a Time" after seeing the benefits first hand with her three children. "Food for Talk" features a recipe box of 200 cards designed to transform the "How was your day?" humdrum into meaningful, genuine discussions. Besides strengthening family bonds, the cards - which feature such questions as "What is your best character trait?" - serve as an entertainment tool during summer travel while in the car or riding on the plane. For more information, visit www.foodfortalk.net. mom in a frame Study shows who they say they are, which is priceless The challenge of the modern mother is to instill good values in her children, notes a new poll. Today's moms, some 82 million women who still have children in the home, recognize that motherhood is a hard job, but one in which they are optimistic to undertake. A recent "Voice of Mom" poll was conducted by ClubMom, a national membership organization. Among its other findings: • 90% of those polled say that their husbands recognize and appreciate the job that they do, and that nearly half of all dads (49%) split the responsibility of raising the children equally with their spouse. • Having children strengthens marriages, 69% of moms agree. • Nearly two-thirds of them (64%) are in the work force - 43% full time and 21% part time. But for the most part, they say it is a myth that there is tension between those who choose or have to work and those who are at-home moms. • How much is their work as mothers worth? Some 30% say they deserve $50,000 a year; 29% say between $50,000 and $100,000; and 21% say more than $100,000. • The primary challenge is teaching values to children (42%), followed by protecting young ones from harm (26%). Despite the incessant inroads made by pop culture, only 14% of those polled are very worried about having to compete with TV, music, movies and the Internet in their quest to shape a value system. • Among the big issues, education is first, say 40%. The ClubMom "Voice of Mom" poll reached 1,207 respondents in March. Margin of error, plus or minus 3.1%. Information: clubmom.com. viewing solution 6 tips for toddlers beyond TV An organization helping busy families has come up with six ways to manage toddlers that go beyond numbing TV watching. Quoting an American Academy of Pediatrics study that indicates a link between TV viewing by young children and attention deficit disorder problems, GoBabies, Inc. suggests options in the multimedia arena. Here are the tips from Maura White, CEO and founder of GoBabies, Inc., which also is co-producer with Burkewood Communications Corp. of the "GoBabies Alphabet Road" video series: • Look for slower, more naturally paced programs: An April 5 issue of Pediatrics points to the problem of rapidly changing images in much of today's programming. Look for videos with a calm, more natural pace. • Incorporate reality-based programming into your video library: When children see realistic images on the screen, they will better be able to identify those objects when they see them in real life. • Select programs that foster interactivity: These kinds of programs encourage the child to solve a problem, find an object, compare sizes, identify colors and shape, and build memory skills. • Pick programs with show-and-tell features: Look for videos where children are given instructions to sing, jump, clap and make hand signals, for example. • Coordinate parent/child activities: Although it is tempting to use the VCR as an electronic babysitter when you have something else you need to do, use your child's video collection as a launching point for games and discussions with your child. • Choose shorter programs: Manage your child's time in front of the screen based on your schedule, their interests, and what you want them to learn. family finance By Jonathan Fagan The Future Don't think you need an estate plan? Think again, and reconsider You've been accumulating assets and saving since entering the work force, but do you have a plan for these assets after your death? Most people think they do not need an estate plan: Do any of these reasons sound familiar? • I don't have enough assets to worry about estate taxes. There are a number of non-tax reasons for estate planning. If you have not done any planning, state law determines where your assets will pass when you die. There's no guarantee the legal system will make the same decisions you would have made. Putting your directions in your estate plan is the only way to ensure that your wishes are followed. In your will, you can also determine a personal representative who will handle your estate when you die. Parents can nominate who will take care of their minor children. Although the court makes the final appointment, naming a guardian ensures your wishes are known, and in most cases, followed. • I already have a will. Some situations are more complex and may require more than a will. Non-traditional family dynamics, tax planning issues and privacy concerns might be better handled through a trust. Even if your will plans for the distribution of property, do not forget to address incapacity. You should consider naming someone as the financial power of attorney to handle your monetary affairs and someone to be your health care power of attorney to make those decisions if you can't. • The estate tax has been repealed. It's true the estate tax has been repealed, but so far only in 2010 and it will be replaced with income or capital gains tax. The following year, the changes will "sunset" back to the original estate tax law of 2001. If you do not want your heirs to pay taxes on your estate, you will have to die in 2010. Over the next several years, the amount that can be passed at death free of estate tax will increase and the estate tax rates will decrease. Because everyone's situation is unique, it is important that you work with planning professionals to be sure your goals are met. They can help you prepare a plan that meets your objectives and helps reduce or eliminate your taxes, create liquidity for any taxes that are due and help keep your estate intact for your beneficiaries.m Ira Hermann, CLU, ChFC, is a financial representative with Northwestern Mutual Financial Network/The Waltos Group in Newport Beach. Information: 949.863.5800 or visit http://www.nmfn.com/waltosgroup fire alert Change clock, change batteries This month, daylight-saving time ends at 2 a.m. Oct. 31. Right now, today, may be the moment to do something you should do every time the clock changes: Change the batteries in your fire detection alarms. Tragic home fire deaths occur in communities nationwide each year. Approximately 1,000 children under the age of 20 die annually in house fires - an average of nearly three children per day. The simple practice of making sure homes have a working smoke detector can dramatically reduce this number. This is why the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC), Energizer and more than 5,400 fire departments across the country are urging communities nationwide to adopt the lifesaving "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery" habit before Oct. 31. Although smoke alarms are present in 95 percent of American homes, 20 percent do not work due to worn or missing batteries. This means that nearly 19 million homes are at needless risk. By adopting the simple "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery" habit, and ensuring a working smoke alarm, Americans can cut their chance of dying in a home fire nearly in half. "The peak time for home fire fatalities is between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. when most families are sleeping," says Chief Bob DiPoli, president of the IAFC. "Smoke alarm maintenance is a simple, effective way to reduce home fire deaths. Children and senior citizens are most at risk, and a working smoke alarm can give you the extra seconds you need to get out safely." Now in its 17th year, the "Change Your Clock, Change Your Battery" message reaches millions of children, senior citizens, and families in communities nationwide. The IAFC is a nonprofit professional organization representing more than 12,000 chief fire officers and emergency services leaders worldwide. Sources: National Fire Protection Association, International Association of Fire Chiefs, Sense of Smell Institute Getting Help Domestic Violence Awareness Month The message that immediately pops up on the website of the National Domestic Violence Hotline not only sends a chill but zeroes in on the fear and danger that surround domestic violence: "Safety alert: Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your Internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a safer computer..." According to statistics from the NDVH: • Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. • 31,260 women were murdered by an intimate from 1976-1996. • An estimated 503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year in the United States. • Studies show that child abuse occurs in 30-60% of family violence cases that involve families with children. To help bring attention to this devastating - and many times deadly - family issue, President George Bush last year designated October as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For those who are a victim or fear you and your family may be at-risk, the first step is to seek help. From the High Desert to the Temecula wine country, no victim of domestic violence in the Inland Empire should ever feel alone or fear that help is too far away. One example of the resources that are available is an agency called Alternatives to Domestic Violence. This Riverside-based agency has locations in eight Riverside County cities, as far east as Banning and south to Temecula. ADV also has two 24-hour crisis hotlines, one toll-free. Those numbers are 951.683.0829 or 800.339.SAFE for anyone outside of the 951 area. For other information, call 951.320.1370 during regular business hours. ADV is just one example of the many organizations that are ready and waiting to help in Riverside and San Bernardino counties. For more complete listings, visit www.dhs.ca.gov/epic/fvrefer/riverside.htm or www.dhs.ca.gov/epic/fvrefer/san_bernardino.htm. By Sandy Bennett and Michael J. Medley FAMILY NEWS BITES YOUNG ENVIRONMENTALISTS Five students from Arlington High School in Riverside will not be stuck for an answer when they are asked what they did this summer. They scored a 12th-place finish in the 2004 Canon Envirothon among a field of 52 teams from the United States and Canada. The Envirothon, held this past August in West Virginia, is North America's largest environmental competition. Each team must demonstrate its knowledge of such subjects as soil/land use, forestry, wildlife, and conservation management in urban areas. Each team was tested under the supervision of foresters, soil scientists, and wildlife specialists. BELL TOWER FUNDS Thanks to $3,200 raised by the Friends of the Carillon at a dinner and concert this past July, the rich and resonant tones of UC Riverside's landmark bell tower will not fall silent anytime soon. The money will be applied directly to the operation of the musical instrument. "We were extremely pleased by the number of people who came and their comments," said Anne Rothfarb, a volunteer carillonneur and treasurer of the Friends group. "We have plans to do many more activities in the future." Completed in 1966, the UCR bell tower is one of only five true carillons in California and its 48 bells are considered to be some of the finest in the world. PEANUT BUTTER CONTEST Get out the loaves of bread and jars of peanut butter and tell your kids to let those creative juices flow. The makers of Jif peanut butter are inviting kids ages 6-12 from across the nation to create the ultimate peanut butter sandwich as part of the third annual "Jif's Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest for Kids." A past winner was called "Peanutty Wrapple Rolls" and combined Jif peanut butter, crisp rice cereal, and apple filling with a sprinkle of brown sugar wrapped in a flour tortilla. Recipes are judged on taste, ease of preparation, appearance, and creativity. To enter, send a list of ingredients, preparation instructions, and a photo of the finished sandwich to Jif's Most Creative Peanut Butter Sandwich Contest, Cohn & Wolfe, 292 Madison Ave., 8th Floor, New York, NY 10017. The grand prize is a $5,000 savings bond. Submission deadline is Nov. 30. GUIDE TO ARTS IN RIVERSIDE The Riverside Arts Council is now offering the public the Downtown Riverside Arts & Cultural District Walking Guide. The guide includes maps and listings of art organizations, annual cultural events, public art locations, historical sites, restaurants, and local colleges and universities. "This is a truly remarkable guide that highlights Riverside's coming-of-age as the arts and culture capital of the Inland Empire," says Mayor Ron Loveridge. Copies of the guide are available at the Visitor Center on the corner of University Avenue and Main Street, the Arts Council office at 3485 Mission Inn Ave. in the Municipal Auditorium, or the Riverside Downtown Partnership at 3666 University Ave., Suite 100. Copies can also be obtained by calling the Riverside Arts Council at 951.680.1345. VICTORIA GARDENS E-CLUB Local residents who want to be in on the action at the Victoria Gardens outdoor retail and entertainment district even before its grand opening on Oct. 28 are invited to join the Victoria Gardens E-Club at www.victoriagardensIE.com. The E-Club is a free amenity that provides shoppers with special offers and early notification of Victoria Gardens events, new stores and sales. Once the center is open, the website will contain a complete list of services and amenities, event information, center maps and driving directions. Victoria Gardens is currently under construction on a 147-acre site at the northwest corner of I-15 and Foothill Boulevard in Rancho Cucamonga. CHILI CHAMPIONS The following winners of the California Chili Championship, held this past August in San Bernardino, are getting their pots, pans and chopping boards ready to pit their skills against other champions at the upcoming World Chili Championship. Eric Stewart of Loma Linda, Dick Swenberger of Mesa, Ariz. and Tootie Gray were winners in the Chili Verde, Traditional Red Chili, and Sanctioned Salsa categories respectively. The three will now compete at the 2004 World Chili Championship, scheduled for Oct. 22-24 at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. Information: www.chilicookoff.com. - Reported and compiled by Inland Empire Magazine |
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