EVERYTHING
FOR YOUR FAMILY
Cover Story
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You are not only a parent, but a nurturer, a healer of wounds and first teacher and mentor. Challenging? Yes. Overwhelming? At times. Doable? For sure. So what do you do now? You were so into being pregnant that you forgot that it would end in a baby! You may have been ready for this intellectually, but psychologically? You realize now that it is only the beginning - of parenthood and of your child's life. What can you do to make the world a better place? What can you do to get him started on the right path? What if you do something wrong? Where do you go for advice? How do you protect her from the trials of the world? These are questions that all parents have as they "come over to the other side." Being a parent is not easy nor does a child come with an online manual to let you know what he wants and feels and when he wants things to be done. You are not only a parent, but a nurturer, a healer of wounds, a first teacher and mentor. Challenging? Yes. Overwhelming? At times. Doable? For sure. The first year of a baby's life consists of the most rapid and profound change of any to come. The nice part about new babies is that they are healthy, robust new beings that are more resilient and, at times, more resistant than you might think. The best way to begin the first year of your baby's life is to relax and enjoy! They will get older, fast. The first day (and a few scientific basics) PUSH, Don't push, PUSH, and then don't push!! It is already confusing! Your adrenalin is very high. You are ready to deliver a new baby. Nothing can match the pain and joy of that moment. There are very few times in life when such extremes of emotions can be experienced. A few facts about your new baby will get you started. "Full term" is defined as 37-42 weeks of pregnancy. An infant born less than 37 weeks is considered premature and those greater than 42 weeks are called postmature. Most women deliver full-term infants. This means that all brain, lung and body functions are mature enough for an infant to survive and thrive without problems. Once the baby is born, many changes occur rapidly in the body, changing from the intrauterine, well-protected home to the real world of breathing, coughing, sneezing and diaper wipes. Because the new baby is in transition from inside the womb to outside of the womb, many changes occur in breathing and circulation. Don't be surprised if the new baby isn't immediately quite so pink. The "transition" from inside to out will take a little time and you will notice that your pride and joy will get pinker over the first 12 hours. While the first rule of parenthood is "Relax and Enjoy," the second is "Don't Panic!" Most babies can be stabilized quickly after birth. Recent studies have supported skin-to-skin contact, called "kangaroo care," in the first 15-20 minutes after delivery. Starting 4 hours after birth, observation revealed that the KC infants slept longer, were mostly in a quiet state and had more flexor movements and fewer extensor movements. Such changes in movements are indicative of a calmer infant who is more neurologically organized. This can influence the ability to adapt and to feed successfully in the early newborn period. Therefore, holding your baby shortly after birth seems to be an advantage for the infant as well as enjoyable and exciting for the parent. Now that the delivery is over and the baby is asleep in your arms, what is next? It is time to feed your infant. It is generally accepted that breast milk is the best first milk for infants. Research from the University of Michigan School of Nursing demonstrated that the more breast milk, the better the fight against infection. Most breastfeeding infants had a lower incidence of diarrhea, cough or wheeze, and vomiting. The California Department of Health Services reports that in Orange County in the year 2000, nearly 84% of infants were either full or partially fed breast milk at the time of discharge from the hospital. Breastfeeding can be a rewarding experience for you and your infant. However, breastfeeding can also be frustrating if it does not progress as quickly as you may want or expect. If you are having difficulty with nursing, invoke the third rule of parenting, "Get Help." There are many lactation consultants who can help you get through the early trials of nursing. Basics of development Now that you have made it through the first day or so, it is time to think about your baby's future - at least the first year. During the first 12 months, physical growth, maturation, acquisition of skills and psychological maturation occur. When looking at growth and development, a few common principles apply: • There is always a range of normal. Not every child achieves developmental milestones at the same time. • The rate of development is dependent upon 2 things - motivation and ability. Your child's personality will often influence how he progresses. A child may have the ability but the skill will not develope until the child is motivated. • Progress is more important than the exact timing. • All of the areas of development are interrelated. • More complex skills build upon previous, simpler ones. • Your child will develop in spite of you. There are 4 main areas in which development is often assessed: 1 Gross Motor: This refers to the larger muscles that support the trunk. Milestones have to do with head stability, rolling, crawling and walking. 2 Fine Motor: These activities involve movements of hands and fingers. 3 Communication and Language: This includes smiling, cooing and the onset of words and sounds. 4 Psycho-Emotional: This area of development describes how a child relates to the world around her. A new perspective It is very important that the areas of development are assessed on a regular schedule to be certain that your child is progressing. Checklists can be helpful in deciding if an intervention or therapy should begin. The best way to understand and enjoy your child's development is to be both an active participant and a learned observer. Put the charts and growth curves aside for a moment and rely on some common sense. Look at development in time blocks rather than on discreet skills and milestones. You will find you know more than you think you know about what should be happening in the first year. The first 3 months Looking at a 1-year-old may help get you on the path to developmental understanding during the first year. Remember, keep in mind there is a wide range of normal. A 1-year-old child walks, says a word or 2, feeds himself and is independent and secure enough to let you know in either words or behavior what he likes or dislikes. Look at the first year as a continuum and it all falls into place. Looking at photos or keeping a video diary of your child over time will make this even clearer. Babies enter the world with genetic material that will determine much of what is to come. "Nature vs. nurture" is a popular phrase used to describe debates over the relative degrees to which one's genetic makeup and life experiences influence traits and attributes. The debate between nature vs. nurture has been around for decades and will probably continue in spite of research and genetic manipulation. When all is taken into consideration, you end up with some characteristics that are clearly genetic, such as blue eyes and some specific diseases, while others are more dependent upon environment. Many psychologists feel that genetics is influenced by environment, thus perpetuating the discussion, research and the controversy. A newborn's world is rather small. However, look into your baby's eyes, speak to him, hold her, feel how an infant's body feels next to yours as you feed or cuddle. Touch a hand. You have just assessed all areas of development and had the opportunity to influence and lead your child on the developmental road. The newborn's ability to hear your voice and focus on your face is indisputable to parents. Enhancing that interaction with gentle talk and facial expressions will enhance your child's development. As you hold your child, you can feel if her tone is tight or overly loose. You can also assess what things make your child more agitated or calm. Some newborns are fussier than others and may need more holding and calming than others. You cannot spoil a newborn by holding. Babies turn to trusting people in their environment and look to you to fulfill their needs. As parents talk to their infants and make facial expressions (most of the time with smiles), the infant, at about 2 months, will respond with a smile and a coo. This is a very exciting and reassuring moment for parents. Smiling and talking are high-level functions that can reassure you that your child is progressing. Months 4-6 You have made it through the first few months and have some confidence in what is normal and what is not. Now that your child is sleeping through the night (or at least a few more hours than a month ago), you have regained your life - but it is a new life. It is hard to believe what life was before your child. Social development has made a quantum leap. Your child recognizes you, smiles and laughs and even will make noises to get your attention when she is bored. The world has expanded. Her sphere of interest has expanded. She is a happy person (as long as she is fed, not tired and in a clean diaper). Although she knows that you are her parent, she is not afraid of strangers and even if she does not know someone, she smiles almost continuously. This only inspires people to agree with you that she is the cutest baby that has ever existed and how lucky you are to have such a wonderful child. Her development cannot help but reinforce that you are a good parent and the truth is, you are. It takes a lot to be a good parent but it also takes a lot to be a "bad" parent. Children are very forgiving. They don't care if the food is cold or the diaper is on backwards. It is just not that important, especially to a 4- or 5-month-old. They know they are cute and adorable because everyone tells them so. Your 4-month-old wants to grab and explore and he is excited just to see how things taste. Everything ends up in the mouth, so be careful about things within his reach such as hair and your nose. The mouth is the gold standard. Is it something new? Once your child gets a grip, he will tend not to let go! The simplest item can be fascinating because it is new. Foods on a spoon are a great source of interest and discovery for the 6-month-old. Because the world is expanding, your infant will want to hold his head upright at 4 months and sit alone at 6 months to see what is happening. Infants at 4 to 5 months will be rolling and getting ready to move forward. Getting the muscles ready with "tummy time" is helpful. Months 6-9 Now it is time for a little breather for you. This is the "latency phase" of the first year. During this time, your child makes more sounds, his hands get more sophisticated and he interacts more socially with family members. You will notice your child building on past skills, making movements and articulations finer and more sophisticated. You will also notice that he is becoming a dangerous individual, without fear or anticipation of any peril and vulnerable to harm. You now transition into a protector from physical injury; the keeper of the keys. Months 9-12 As a parent of a 9-month-old, you will experience your child's "first adolescence." Adolescence is defined in the dictionary as a "transitional period of development between youth and maturity." Get ready! Your child has now learned enough to know what he wants and does not, what foods he likes and not and how to spit them out when he wants. Your child now sees himself as separate from you and from others and wants to do more things by himself, such as eating, exploring and playing. You may even see a glimpse (although much less intense than what is to come) of a temper tantrum. Remember, this is normal development so don't take it too personally. At this stage of development, you may feel that you must make everything right all of the time. This time in your child's life is the first time that she may need to deal with some frustration about what is and what she wants. Don't let it throw you. Be reassuring, not too demanding of your child, and offer some alternatives. There ARE times when you can't make it all better. One year of age You have made it through the first year! Now all you have are 50 or 60 more as a parent. In some ways, the first birthday party is a dual celebration: one for your child and one for you. Not only has your child grown and developed, but so have you. You have become a "seasoned" parent who understands that you don't always do the "right" thing but that you always do what you think is best - all out of love. You will find that if you observe what your child does, encourage his creativity and exploration, you will become a happy parent and may even laugh at what your child does. You will learn that some children have better temper tantrums than others while some will talk your ear off and you will need to put yourself in a timeout to maintain sanity. Overall, your baby's first year is one of the best years of your life. Your child is walking, talking and giving her opinion! Now it is time to "Relax and Enjoy," "Don't Panic" and "Get Help" when you need it. Dr. Clyde Wesp is a pediatrician with Southern Orange County Pediatric Associates with offices in Lake Forest, Laguna Hills, Rancho Santa Margarita and Ladera Ranch and is affiliated with Saddleback Memorial Medical Center, Mission Hospital and Children's Hospital of Orange County. He is a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Memorial Care Physician Society. Questions or comments for Dr. Wesp: askdrwesp@netscape.net. For Letters: inlandempirefamily.com. Babies galore The Inland Empire is alive with newborns If the fact that about 1 of every 9 babies born in California next year will be a Riverside or San Bernardino County resident doesn't impress you, maybe this does: Better than 1 of every 70 projected American births in 2005 will be here, in the fastest-growing region in the U.S. An estimated 60,449 babies will be born in the two counties next year, among the 537,656 statewide, according to the state Department of Finance, Demographic Research Unit. That represents 28,921 in Riverside County (a record); 31,528 in San Bernardino County. Nationwide, about 4 million babies are born each year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. That number matches the tremendous birthrate of the Baby Boom era (1946-64), when 76 million Americans were born, or nearly one-third of the population. |
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